Dad always treated me as an individual.  He “asked me” and “listened” to me, and never spoke “for me”.  I never had any trouble talking to him about deeply personal issues.  He always gave me good council.  As I grew older we would “spat” at times, but like a cloud passing over the sun, the warmth would come out and he would be fun and muck about, romping and playing as usual.


He was away a lot on business or with the Territorial Army and as a small child I missed him.  I joined up myself at 16, I shared his passion and I have vivid and lasting memories of going with Dad to the TA centre in Derby, he on the back of my scooter so he could have a few beers! Wearing his trench helmet!  At 16 yrs of age He taught me to drive on a beach in Cyprus.  Not content to just go in a straight line I was taught to hill start, reverse, skid and wheel spin amongst the sand dunes in our hired mini!  After all I would need to learn how to control a car in all situations!  At 17 yrs old I passed my test first time.  I knew how to handle a car with confidence.  We would drive the length and breadth of the U.K. together visiting rifle ranges, parade grounds and going on manoeuvres.  


At 21 I moved to live and work as a Theatre Nurse in London, he lived there also for work during weekdays.  We spent many evenings out on the town together and sometimes with his business colleagues. We were mates.  As I grew older and married Simon, a man Dad’s always showed love and respect to.  I had a family and life of my own, he punctuated ours with his larger than life presences.  Because of him I learnt to be independent, confident and strong. I’m grateful for that. 


He was so proud and respectful of my nursing career, but when I decided to retrain as a Decorative Artist later in life he made it his business to understand what I was doing and was so supportive and equally proud of me when he watched me graduate with my Masters. 


I could write so much about my relationship with Dad.  I never felt dominated or belittled by him.  Our banter, sometimes brutal, always was a source of hilarity for him.  We would act out our mutual experiences to great comedic effect and he would roll around laughing.  


I’ve spent so much time in his company as an adult and particularly these last few years as his needs have changed. I will miss him every day.